I don’t know why it is difficult for people who get connected with me the first time. When they ask me(okay, let me tell you one thing, they don’t just ask, it sounds like they are telling me that I’m definitely committed, nahi nahi Sumit you have to.. how dare you to be single!!!! This is how I feel at times😂😂.) do I have a girlfriend? And my answer is like f**%@# no.
I don’t know why it has become mandatory for a boy or a girl to be in a so-called relationship, when in actuality they don’t have time to talk to each other, they can’t meet every day, it becomes a liability to tell the other person where are you going, with whom are you going, why are you going and so on.
Recently, I got a text from an Indian friend of mine who lives in America. We were having a chat on Facebook and suddenly she asked me,
“Sumit, do you have a girlfriend?”
I was shocked to hear that, why is she asking me that.
“No, I don’t”, I said.
I was like, ok. She just asked to know if there’s anyone.
Now her next question was double shocking for me when she asked me,
“Sumit, don’t you feel like having a girlfriend?”
I mean, she just hurt something inside me. She reminded me of all those pains I’ve buried inside my heart for years now.
It is but obvious for a teenager to get into this trap as we call it a ‘True love’ which is none other than an Infatuation for us. It made me think the whole day about it. Let me tell you one secret here, It’s not like I haven’t been in any relationships. I have been to a lot of relationships, and I’ve had started it so early. I guess, before anyone else could think of having a girlfriend, I already had a girlfriend by then. My age was around 14-15 when I had my first girlfriend, I gotta know her through one of our mutual friends. She just felt like talking to me after that meet-up, and she proposed me after a week. Everything was great but as time passes you start growing up a little bit more than others. You come to know that it’s not easy to get in any relationships like this. It’s not about pillow talk all the time, sweet memories, love making scenes like Bollywood movies, to have sex with your partner every day and night. Dude, more than that. You’ll have the accept the darker side of other person. It’s not always lovey-dovey talk. I’ve heard this dialogue in a movie called Jannat ‘Jab garibi/shak ek darwaje se aati hain na tab pyaar 1 khidki se bahar nikal jata hain!!’
Anyways, even after that, I was in a relationship with few more girls. Actually a lot😅😂. But thankfully around 2 years back, I started taking life seriously. I had no idea what I was doing with my life. I had to make up my mind to get things organised. I had to drag myself out of my comfort zone. And then I decided, I’ll try to become something first then I’ll think about doing anything else. That was the day I had actually decided what I wanna do with my life.
As I’ve also mentioned one thing in one of my blogs Who’s My Valentine?
“Sumit, this is the time to learn HOW to earn bread , after some time, I’ll be START earning bread and once I start earning bread, I’ll get lot of people to butter me’ That’s for sure. ;)”
To be frank, having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is extremely not a bad thing. But it is overtaken. Trust me on that. Now, a genuine girl doesn’t want to know how cool you are, if you’re not capable of taking care of her, respect her choices, you can’t even buy a bread butter for the family. You’re good for nothing.
I am not saying that it doesn’t feel good being with someone whom you like spending time with but it is definitely not something so great. A relationship needs efforts to keep it going. And believe me, a lot of efforts. It is not all like Bollywood movies as I’ve mentioned above and most of them do not have happy endings as well. So, what’s the point of In-Wasting your time, money and value for such things?
Ok, so now come to the main point again-
Why do you need to be in a relationship at this age?
At times, we see that our cousins have their girlfriends/boyfriends. So, we also have an urge to have one, right?
But, I mean really, by doing this what do you wanna show to the world? That you’re cool too. You too can have someone in your life. Man! You need to understand, you don’t need to show off to the world, you’ll find your true love when the time is right. You need to understand that. Just get out of that childish zone.
You know, someone has said it right that,
“The world is not your competition, you yourself is. The world is not your enemy, you yourself is.”
Secondly, so none of our friends are having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. So we’ll have one or two to Show off in front of them. Really! Do you really need to do that?
Third, at times, we actually want someone in our life so that we can share our things with them. I agree on that, but you can only do that to your girlfriend? It can be your parents, your siblings or even your best friends. I’m really blessed with so many wonderful friends. And sharing my thoughts here on WordPress is the best of the bests.
One can develop the need of having a girlfriend on the basis of these talks-
I need a girlfriend to talk.
Can’t you do that with any other person? I know things get lonely at times. It’s good to vent it out to someone close. But what if she’s not in a mood to talk to you? What if she wants to tell her blah blah stories rather than listening to yours?
Instead, you can talk to yourself in peace. You can write a journal on that particular situation if something went wrong. You analysis by your own self. You’re the only one who can help yourself.
I need a girlfriend for a pillion rider on my motorcycle.
I know pillion seat is there for a reason and you’d love to roam around with her everywhere. But what after that? Do you have your own that much money which can spend on her? It always feels good to spend Daddy’s money for our pleasure. But unfortunately, it’s hard to earn that little money by doing a hard work for the rest of the day. And for this, it’ll take a couple of seconds to spend.
That’s completely ok if you’re earning and spending. Otherwise, it’s worthless.
I need a girlfriend to dance with.
Oh really! Now you need a girlfriend even for a dance. You should dance like that when a girl should approach you for your talent and not for the sake of dance.
I have few videos of my crazy dance, which I’ve uploaded on my Facebook page. You can check it out, how girls can get crazy after that. 😉
I need a girlfriend for fighting and arguing/ teasing.
Ah, you don’t need a girlfriend to do that. Just throw a pebble on your neighbour’s window and you’ll get what you want.
I need a girlfriend for hanging out around the city.
You must be a travel guide then.
I need a girlfriend to sing with.
How awesome it would look when both of you would sing a duet song like Mukesh and Lata Mangeshkar.😂
I need a girlfriend so that I don’t have to marry a stranger later.
Ok so it’s one way to escape arranged marriage, right? What if your girl shows her real colour after the wedding?
I need a girlfriend so that I can cry.
Oh! Jesus Christ! Now you need a girlfriend even for crying?
I need a girlfriend for pep talks and reality check.
Do you think a good girlfriend will not always be possessive? What if she leaves you when your life and career are going down? Think about it!
I need a girlfriend for a secure future.
Ah, which means a Government job. Right?
‘Zindagi ke sath bhi, Zindagi ke baad bhi’
I need a girlfriend for sex.
Here comes the main reason. Sex.
Well, I’d just like to tell you, before spoiling any girl’s life just think 1000 times. Thankfully, I’ve always got chance to think about it before going ahead. She may lose her trust from other guys. She may hate herself for the rest of the life, if you leave her after getting physical with her. You may be the reason for shedding her in tears for years. It is a complicated matter.
I need a girlfriend so that I can plan and modify my career in the future.
Ah, you need a career counsellor in the form of that. 😂
I need a girlfriend because there’s love in abundant; too much to simply store and not show out.
There’s nothing tougher than controlling all that love and not showing it, at least not all at once. You need a proper person to show it on. It can be someone who’s closed to you. Parents. Bestfriends. Your Guru.
Ok, what if you’re sharing a plethora of love to her but she’s not sharing a single shit with you, would that work?
Well, as you’ve read above there can be thousands more silly reasons we can find out in from everyone. I’m not at all against having a girlfriend at this point. Actually, I’ve analysed all these questions and answers in those years. I’ve plenty of knowledge about it now. All I’m saying at this point is-
Having a girlfriend at the wrong time will prove a disaster to both our lives.
It is needed to realise that you can love someone else only if you love yourself.
The best kind of love is the love you have for yourself.
It is not a compulsion to have a girlfriend if you’re in your twenties. There are not only pros of having a girlfriend. Lots of cons follow you behind this. You will be completely separated from your friends, family too in the future. You will start living for someone else. You become the vehicle and she will be the driver.
This may not be for all the cases.
Rest is on you.
And it is far better being single at this point. Trust me. Because “Sweetheart! I am not able to sleep. Let us talk a bit.” is not better than the cozy sleep you are supposed to have at 2 in the night.
(For me, chasing my dreams at nights is more important than even having a full night sleep, haha!)
There are not only pros of having a girlfriend as many guys at this stage presumes. Lots of cons follow you behind this. You will be completely separated from your friends, may be family too in future. You will start living for some-one else. You become the vehicle and she is the driver.
(This is just my point of view. But this may not be for all the cases.
Rest is on you.)
And at last I wanna complete this post here, but I’m still required to answer to that American friend’s question that, why don’t I have a girlfriend now?
This is not intended for any particular thing or a person. It’s just that we’re living in a practical generation. So it’s better to have a practical views on everything. You’ll have to be the best at whatever you’re doing. And nobody should be allowed to enter in that territory. The same goes with me, I’m working hard for me and for the welfare of our society. Hence, it’s worth working on something which can be beneficial for others as well. 🙂
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