How long does it take to move on after a break up? I Say, A Moment. Check out how..

I know how does it feel when you come to know things are not going the way it should be going. You had seen her/him suffering from pain. You had seen him/her dying every moment of her/his life. You always wanted to help her/him but she/he always denied you to do that. Have you ever imagined why? Maybe she/he might not wanted you to suffer in the same pain she/he was going through. I know you feel the uttermost pain of not doing anything to help and heal her/him. But do you know what is the best thing you can do at the moment?

It’s pretty sure you’re thinking I’m suffering from some breakup or something. Right? Most of my friends and readers felt the same when they heard I’m going to write about How to move on after a breakup, their first message was in an astonished manner.

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Haha! Well, it’s not the case here. I’m doing well with my life. I just got passed with good grades last night.😂 And as you’ve read my last post, in which I’ve vented out my frustration over this universal question “Do You Have A Girlfriend?

Related- Do You Have A Girlfriend?

It’s been a long time I’m seeing most of my friends and readers who are not doing well in their life. And what’s the reason behind that? Well, it’s quite simple they’re mentally depressed. They are not able to think anything because they just broke up with their girlfriend/boyfriend.

But my question is, how long does it take to move on after a breakup?

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A decade? An year? A month? A day?but what if I say you can move on right from a moment? This moment.

Don’t believe me? Let me explain you how…

Okay, so it may be your first relationship or may be second or third but you’re thinking in your mind that it was your true love for life. Right? That girl was the charming girl of your life. I can completely understand what you must be going through at this moment. I can relate it’s not simple to forget someone whom you thought be your world forever.

You’re crying for that someone on certain nights, wishing you might find her/him next to you soon. If you’re heartbroken I’d love to give you a free advice – Never ever get into/ back into a relationship with that person who has badly cheated on you and intentionally or unintentionally broken your heart and trust.

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No offence, but think about it- If that person had not valued you when you were in her/his life and completely took you for granted, avoid your phone calls, lied to you for thousand times, there’s definitely every possibility that if you get back to her/his life, she/he wouldn’t think twice about doing anything similar to that.

In every relationship, two people share a mental and physical relationship with each other. The love which was once shared between the two is, somehow, lost now and which definitely would take some time to recover. But before that, you’ll have to be prepared mentally.

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The tragic of this relationship status is on one day you’ll be thanking God that she/he went out of your life and think how can I ever fall for someone who hurt me this much and think Itna haqq to Maine apne parents ko bhi Nahi diya kabhi, aayi badi muje hurt karne wali ( I didn’t  even give any right to my parents to hurt me, and she tried to hurt me. Huh!) and on other days you’ll be like- No matter whatever she/he did I need to give it one more chance. Haha! It happens right?;)

Does crying makes you less of a man?

Man! Here’s your weakness. Sympathy is not at all allowed in case of being cheated. You’ll have to be strong. You’ll have to be mentally prepared yourself for that person. You should not enter her/him inside your mind’s territory. She/he has lost that right now.

And of course! If you’ll ask me, I’m a guy and I’m crying over such things. Does that make me less of a man?

No. Of course not. Crying for things that actually meant a lot to you don’t make you any less of a man.

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When someone cries so hard that it hurts their throat, it is out of frustration or knowing that no matter what you can do or attempt to do can change the situation. When you feel like you need to cry, when you want to just get it out, relieve some of the pressure from the inside – that is true pain. Because no matter how hard you try or how bad you want to, you can’t. That pain just stays in place. Then, if you are lucky, one small tear may escape from those eyes that water constantly. That one tear, that tiny, salty, droplet of moisture is a means of escape. Although it’s just a small tear, it is the heaviest thing in the world. And it doesn’t do a damn thing to fix anything.

Chase Brooks

After all, we all are social creatures. We all are Human beings. We only go through certain turmoils from time to time and hence there’s no harm in letting your emotions out.

In fact, I’d say if you want to cry, cry for her, cry hard for 2-3 days. Cry as much as you want but make one thing very clear that she’s not going to be the part of your life. Let her/him live in the past. You have finally moved on from her. You have moved on in life.

Don’t be ashamed to weep; ’tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.

Brian Jacques

It is a high time that you need to forget and forgive yourself. You just need to get out of it.

Don’t cry over the things which aren’t in your control
Don’t cry over the people who doesn’t love you back
Don’t cry over people who doesn’t value you
Don’t cry over the feelings which lead you nowhere

“Don’t cry over your past, it’s gone. Gone far away!”

SumitOfficial

All I want you to do is thank your past for whatever it has given you, and move on!

Perks of Love

You know, what is the best thing about  love? It is something when you can do something for someone who can never ever repay you. And that’s what I call the power of love.

It would come out with passion, a passion for doing anything for that person, still not letting them know that what you’ve done.

It takes hell lot of town to realise that. Yet, you got a life to analyse that. You can’t just make up your mind if someone hurt you in the first place. Maybe she/he would not have been worth of your love. Maybe you deserve someone who can do thousand times more on what you do. You got to change your views. You got to change your perspective now to look at the beauty of the world. The beauty of Love.

“You’ve seen nothing in life, still, you’re refusing to look at it.”

So I’ve tried to make you move on in life. But we, as human beings, need something to be with us. I tried to compose this little verse for you to work for you as your affirmation.

Things you should do instead

Set your priorities in life.

Work on your own self. Try to overcome your fears.

Try to improve yourself each day so that when you look at yourself in the mirror you’ll see the better you. A person who’s better than yesterday.

What if she/he comes back?

If one fine day, you wake up and read her/his message. If she/he at some point of time period realises your value, how much you had cared for her/him, the other person is going to make efforts to come back, just because she/he is now addicted to your love. A love which she/he has taken for granted once. But now it’s completely up to you to decide what to do.

“An EX should stay an EX.
They’re the EXample of false love and
EXplanation for why you should deserve better.”

But as I’ve already explained why you should not to give any second chance.  Again, I’d recommend you to not entertain this person in your life again.

You’ll feel like texting her even when your friends say no to about that. You’ll text her/him and she/he’ll be toying with you again. You’ll seek for reasons hut you’ll get nothing than her ignorance.

Try to indulge yourself in things which you like, get out with your friends, share your experiences and it’ll help lower the pain.

Don’t make yourself too demoralised just because of that person who’s no longer in your life. Instead, think about all those people who’ve provided you the unconditional love which you always wanted. 

I’m better

You just need to think I’m moving on in life now. No more waiting, no more hurt. You don’t know pain until you are staring at the mirror with tears streaming down your face, begging yourself to just hold on and be strong.

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Now, I feel myself changing.
Changing, in a positive way.

I don’t laugh the way I used to laugh before.

I’m better.

I don’t smile the way I used to smile before.

I’m better.

I don’t trust people, the way I used to trust them.

I’m better.

I don’t talk to people, the way I used to talk to them.

I’m better.

I am just too tired and mentally exhausted. Though, I’m improving. I’m better.

You see how the cycle goes. All you have to do is sit back, take out those memories and throw them in dustbin. Those memories are not worth not. As Krishna says it in Bhagwat Gita – If you can’t help yourself, nobody can help you.
Hence, try to be your own help. Be motivated. Don’t let anyone harm you. 

All the best. Have a happy and blessed life ahead.:D

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Published by: SumitOfficial

Sumit Yadav(25), popularly known as SumitOfficial, is a blogger from Mumbai who has been writing since 5 years, and has posted 600+ Blog Posts till now. He is an MBA and works in an Educational Industry in Mumbai as a Senior Career Consultant. His spare-time activities include creative things like -- Acting, Photographing, mimicking, singing. He has worked with Radios, appeared on National TV, interviewed authors, appeared on newspapers for multiple activities, and has written reviews for magazines. Also, he's been consistently writing offline in his journals for more than 875+ days now. He believes in Continuous Progression, and Exponential Growth. 

Categories #Humanity, life, loveTags, , 160 Comments

160 thoughts on “How long does it take to move on after a break up? I Say, A Moment. Check out how..”

  1. Sumit, its a greta article and of immense help to everyone who s heartbroken. But, I have one question. It is easy to move on Sumit but memories which they made for a time still makes u to have the same feelings. Don’t u agree? You can move on by coming back to your life goals but sometimes we suddenly start missing the good memories which we once made and no one else could give it back to us. And, finally we come to regret again :p 😀

    Liked by 8 people

      1. yea, its great to be selfish 😉 😀 lekin wahi hai koi emotional hota hai and some r sturdy 😀 but u wrote it very well. It motivated me 😀

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I think you’re right and not. Because every man has his own way to move on after a breakup. We are different and this is what it helps us or not. Some of us are stronger, others not. Some of us can forget quickly, others not.
    Great post, Sumit 😀

    Liked by 5 people

  3. No. Crying doesn’t make you any less of a man. Crying is just human way of showing that a person is hurt. Men are human too. So, men, it’s okay to cry.

    I can relate to this post and yes, there is no explanation for cheating and lie. I don’t understand the concept of cheating. If you fell out of love or don’t feel the same way for each other like you felt earlier then let the person know about your feelings. I am sure if there was love ever then that person is bound to understand you and let you free. Love isn’t bondage, love let’s you free. It is okay to fall out of love.

    It may take days, months or years to come out of it, for some it may take forever, it’s all in the mind. After a break up, we feel a void and then we start searching for someone who can fill the void but this is extremely incorrect. You may find someone who will fill the void, get into another relationship and again fall out of love, that love that never happened in the first place. In the process of healing yourself, you will hurt another individual.

    At the end, I will tell, fall in love, beautiful feeling it is. The physical aspect in a relationship is inevitable and makes a relationship stronger. Don’t let the physical aspect dictate your relationship. Have a healthy relationship, it’s always good to have someone beside you in your lows.

    Sumit, phenomenal post. I have always admired your work. You are an amazing man and I will never get tired of telling this again and again.

    All the best and loads of love!! 😘

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Awww… I’m totally agree with you Antara. 😘😘

      You’ve written on my behalf as well, hence I don’t need to write anything more. 😉

      All I can say is, thank you Antara😍😘❤

      Like

  4. OMG! Wow, this is a wonderful post Sir. I so appreciate your views and suggestions. This post must’ve helped so many people. I learnt a lot from this too. Well written Sir, we must try to become better than yesterday! ✌😇😇

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Well I have to admit that I have no idea what break-ups are like. 😛😛😜
    But I have helped a lot of people come out of situations like these and I do agree with a lot of things that you’ve mentioned in this post.
    I just hope that this piece of wiritng helps all its readers who are a victim to this problem. ☺
    Sumit to the rescue. 😎

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Eva tuje jaroorat bhi Nahi hain Kisi breakup weakup Ki😘
      Tu bas apne me focus kar😉
      I know you have helped so many people who toiled themselves in those so-called relationships.

      I hope this post helps such readers. 🙂

      Thank you Eva. 😉😘😘😊

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I just believe everything happens for a reason. if it is meant to be it will be, sooner or later. just never stoop down against your self esteem and values. break up is hard for men and women. crying doesn’t make one less of a man or a weak girl for that matter. everyone has chance to make a choice and everything depends on that choice- you either welcome or close the doors for the one you love.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Definitely Surjeet. Getting into relationships and loving someone blindly is human nature. Not all the relationships works. But it’s completely up to us how to handle that.

      This post is a little help for them. 🙂

      Thank you so much Surjeet for stopping by. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  7. इश्क के मदरसे का एक उसूल देखा
    जिसको भी सबक याद हुआ उसे छुट्टी न मिली।
    *†**
    मुकाबले मे, जीतने की खुशी किसे ज्यादा मिलेगी,
    ये सोचकर कई बार जीती हुई बाजी हारा हूं मै।

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Great post sumit, I totally agree with you,move on is hard part, but when finally you move on you will realize it’s is the best decision you made.If we think about present and thinking what is important that time for us then immediately answer cames from our mind, and this is which makes your whole life full of flowers.If you want to do,you can do,and if you think you can do, you will do.This all messed up things are the parts of our life,and this is important for us this makes us mature as I mentioned my new post “MATURITY” this makes us a strong and different personality.one day you will get a deserving person of your life

    So just enjoy all this
    Live in present
    Bcos
    Zindagi na milegi dobara
    Live every moment of your life😇😇

    Great article sumit
    God blessed you😘

    Liked by 4 people

    1. That’s very true Preeti. We all have been going through the same trauma, which is a human nature. That’s not a problem. But the problem arises when we stop thinking, when we lost our senses to think anything.

      This post was meant for those people only. They wanna move on in life but they’re not getting any guidance.

      I’m glad that you found it worth Preeti. 🙂

      Yes yes, I’m waiting for my princess. She’ll be more intelligent and spiritual than me. 🙂

      Tha k you so much Preeti. 😉😊❤😘

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I so agree with you. It takes only a moment to move on after a break up. Though, I feel that to do so in a moment, a person would need love, care and support from the near and dear ones. Without which it wouldn’t be possible to move on so easily, unless the person is really strong-minded and has a great will power. Nevertheless, amazing work! Keep writing and don’t forget to smile!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Anjali. 😃
      You’re right a person would need love and support, and this is why I tried to be that support for those who need it. 🙂

      Btw I saw your comment on Aanchal’s post. We were discussing the same. Our posts are compliments to each other. Don’t you think?😂😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha! Of course. Hers is like a warning and yours like remedy if a daredevil ignores that warning XD
        Though, I solemnly feel ‘eff relationship, eat ice cream; you won’t be disappointed’ XP

        Liked by 2 people

  10. What if a person is already doing the things you should do instead part..without that boyfriend or breakup
    Would we call them ,wise by birth😂😂
    ( maine compliment diya hai khud ko upar)

    Liked by 3 people

      1. The poem in the end was really good. You write really well.and kudos for your good grades in
        exams 100 me 76 Maths me ..👍
        Mere kabhi nhi aye 😂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I was reading that mana di post you call that from didu thing made me smile my sis calls me didu,dida, ..any amazing name but not the conventional didi ..that was really sweet.😊😊

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Awww.. you were reading those posts😀😀

        This is so good to hear Samridhi, you must be feeling so loved after your sister calls you Didu, dida. 🙂

        You made my day by sharing your lovely story Samridhi. 😃😃

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yes I Read the blogs of my fellow bloggers in scope of doing better .. I like how lucid your writings are the emotions are all so alive I am trying to learn that from your blogs .😅

        Liked by 2 people

      5. And that dida ..no matter how busy I am as soon as that dida comes in I am like ..i am totally free tell me kya baat hai 😂

        Liked by 3 people

      6. Ladayi bhi hoti hai 😂😂
        But no doubt my world measures 5.2 feet in hieght and round toh nhi hai 😂😂
        Thanks for the wishes.
        And I also pray the same for you and di.

        Liked by 2 people

  11. I loved the line an Ex should stay an Ex. But nowadays many are committing the mistake of getting back together where it gets kind of stressful to continue.
    P.S. a great article ☺

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Exactly Gayatri. That’s what I’m trying to tell everyone. They get back to their exes and again same problems starts.

      It’s better na ke pehle se careful rahe. 😉
      Thank you Gayatri😘😇😍

      Liked by 1 person

  12. To be bitter, torn, worn out and then feeling as if your skin has been peeled off – that’s the feeling of a breakup. Depending on person to person, new skin layer comes back, the scars never go but yes they heal . My only one thought is – “Don’t make others a priority in your life when you’re just an option to them. Relationships work best when balanced.”
    Sumit, this post opens many viewpoints and thoughts and I think you wanted people to open up and say what they want to say. You have achieved that. Keep penning your thoughts, Sumit!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes Kavita. I’m cent percent agree on whatever you said. The feeling of breakup is the worst in the world. We become so helpless at that point of time.

      That quote. . Wow! I guess, I’ll remember that for the rest of my life.

      I’m so glad that, Kavita, you said those words for me. It meant a lot. I always respected you. Today, my respect for you has increased even more. 🙂

      Thank you Kavita, for everything. 😇😇

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Thank you bhaiyya…tht helped a lot…phir bhi usse bhoolna kabhi kabhi bahot mushkil ban jaata hai. Tab mujhe lagta hai ki main usse ek aur chance de sakti hoon cz “life s all about a second chance”. Pata nahi tab kya karna hai.Kabhi kabhi Yeh soch satata hai bahot .

    Liked by 2 people

  14. This blog post reminded me so much about what had gone on previously. Thank you so much for sharing your views on this matter. It is a great help for me indeed. I see my value as an individual and that I can’t afford to lose myself just because I’m out from someone’s life. So the equation goes like this, let the value of EX = 0.

    Like

  15. Whoa! Amazing article again. And yes at times you have to be selfish. A well said thing:
    “Just because one person was the very first one who made you feel in a certain way, doesn’t mean that they are the only one who can make you feel that way. And the fact that they walked away tells you a lot. Why would you want someone in your life, who will not continuously give you the love and care you deserve? Why would you want that? And the fact that there was one person, who was able to give you that kind of love, tells you that there are so many other people out there who are capable of giving you either that love or the one that is million times stronger than it”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Exactly. It’s completely right thing to be selfish sometimes else people will take you for granted. And that’s the fact.
      I’m also agree on that point where one person makes you everything today, and tomorrow he/she will behave like you were nothing to him/her.

      So, it’s better to keep distance from such people because they will never value your sacrifices for that person.

      Yes. There are people around you who are continuously giving you unconditional love for no reason. If you really wanna give love, love them even more. They are your priority.

      I’m glad that you shared you two cents with this article. 🙂

      Thank you so much 😃

      Liked by 1 person

  16. This is such a great post Sumit….we need to learn to live in moments and not memories….whats gone is gone but there’s alot more to happen and thats where we need to shift our focus on ♡👍
    It would be great if you could write about things like how to deal with difficult and stubborn people 😀
    And the v common problem- insomnia 👍

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Sumitttt!
    More than anything,your presentation and style is laudable.Great going! 😊
    I have opned wordpress after soo many days,will mail you yar,just so caught up with routine works.Touch the skies,boy.Stay blessed😊

    Liked by 2 people

  18. This post is really, really good!… Although, I have never had a boyfriend in my life before! 😀 So, I really don’t know how a break-up actually feels like… 😀

    “You know, what is the best thing about love? It is something when you can do something for someone who can never ever repay you. And that’s what I call the power of love. ” — this line is very inspiring and touching…!

    Thanks a lot for sharing this post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No. Not at all. I had my first girlfriend at the age of 14 i.e., 6 years ago and after that I had a been in other relationships. And being a keen observer all I could learn is how all these relationships work. I observed those who are successful and those who’re not. 😉

      And then came to this conclusion that it’s not that hard to move on in life, after all, you have a lie to live. There are people who love you unconditionally and one should focus on them. 🙂

      PS – I had so many pasts that at times, I have to think on which I should cry more. Eventually I end up laughing at all. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  19. An ex should stay an ex? I have used this same statement over and over again to my bff. But lord she never listens. Fact is when people dont let go…they are literally blocking off all greater opportunities. Otherwise nice article.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. I read a quote that says – Don’t Lose Yourself over Someone who does’nt mind losing you.

    Another – If you miss him/her, it does not mean you go running back to him/her, after God has firmly shut that door of your life and asked you to Move On.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Crying doesn’t make you any less of a man or more of a woman. To say that tears are a trait of a woman is a very sweeping statement and a caricaturish representation of how women are perceived to be in a “Man’s world”… weak and feeble! I would go to the extent of saying that it’s grossly sexist and offensive, just like the Hindi saying “Maine haaton mein chudhiyaan nahin peheni hai” (I haven’t worn bangles in my hands) does that mean that the hands that wear bangles (read women) can’t fight wars…their biggest war is being a woman in a man’s world! Besides…if you really loved someone and now you’re hurt, it’s okay to cry a little or a lot if you like. Just ’cause someone cheated on you doesn’t mean you loved them any less and so to say that it’s easy to move on in a moment is a little far fetched! What you need is that one decisive moment of complete closure when you can say I’ve cried all that I could and now I feel empty…empty enough to make room for someone else to step in… It may be a day, a year or a decade depending on how deep your love is for the person who stopped loving you but never stopped hurting you and you still loved them. Wait till you find that moment and then you can move on!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes.. that’s what I was trying to convey. We are human beings and we do have emotions.

      I’m completely agree with your words. We’re living in a world of male dominating society but we’re ignoring the power of Feminism.

      Yesterday only one of the women from India, PV Sindhu, won a a Silver medal in Rio2016 (Olympics)

      Thank you so much for your inspiring comment on the blog. I really appreciate it. ☺

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Three cheers to P V Sindhu! However, in a country with over 1.25 billion people, the world has just seen and celebrated one P V Sindhu when there are many more out there…just not encouraged and promoted enough by their parents, teams, coaches, sponsors and the society as a whole… I’ve tried to bring out the duality of standards and morals in our society in my book Transcending Parallels which is about four Indian women. They are all different and come from different walks of life, being an IT professional, a mother of a child afflicted with Down’s Syndrome, a wife dealing with infidelity and a rebellious movie star who doesn’t shy away from challenging every patriarchal diktat in a male driven industry… Feminism isn’t really about male bashing but about gender equality and giving women the equal rights and the place they deserve in the society and even men can be feminist and if someone wants to cry about that then be my guest…it still won’t make them any less of a man or more of a woman!

        Like

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